Rain
by Saphira112
Summary: The realization finally hit me. I thought you were going to kill me... You, who had saved me from so many dangers before, were going to kill me. Zaphikel/Raziel


**Title:** Rain

**Author:** Saphira112

**Section:** Angel Sanctuary

**Pairing:** Zaphikel/Raziel (if you think about it)

**Word Count:** 2,014

**Warnings:** Fluff, drama, sap, shounen-ai, and blinding OOCness

**Summary:** "The realization finally hit me. I thought you were going to kill me... _You_, who had saved me from so many dangers before, were going to _kill_ me."

**Note:** This is my first Angel Sanctuary fanfiction, so I'm doubting it's any good... But I had this idea in my head all day (which would just not leave me alone) and I didn't really pay attention to character personalities as I wrote it. If anyone out there has any clue on how to keep these two in character when they're in the same room in a "more-than-a-mentor/student" relationship (or maybe just in the same room at all, come to think of it) please give me advice! Much appreciated!

**Recommended listening:** "Sorrow" from the Angel Sanctuary OST

Rain

One-Shot

It was raining, oddly enough, and again, he found himself sitting there, by the window. His leg was propped up and his arms were curled around his leg as he sat on the windowsill, his other leg dangling, looking out at the rain. His hanging leg swished back and forth, as if he were trying to pre-occupy himself. But it didn't keep him from becoming so distracted. He was thinking again, thinking back to _that_ day... surprisingly, it had only been three days ago.

He laid his chin on his propped knee, glancing once to the falling tears outside. Then he looked down, his forehead on his knee, closing his cloudy eyes as his tomboy-ish haircut fell down over his face. He felt his cross earring jingle a bit against his cold cheek. When had he opened the window? He didn't know. All he could think about was _that_ day, when the fear had shone in his eyes brighter than any other day in his life, when the fear had gripped his heart, refusing to let go.

_It was dark in the room, so dark, and then there was that glow, that glow that poked at his curiosity. His curiosity moved his body, not his mind. He should've known not to go snooping around looking for Zaphikel-sama, but the man skipped enough meetings as it was. Now where was that glow coming from...?_

_He stopped dead as his eyes fell upon it; such a bright light emitting from the cage holding that soul, the nude body dunked in spiritual fluid, encased in a glass ball shaped prison. The long hair fell over eyes that refused to open, eyes that kept the soul asleep._

_Raziel found himself moving back, away from the imprisoned soul and he hardly noticed that he had backed up and bumped into someone. A hand came up, half-shielding his eyes. And then he heard the voice._

"_You saw it, Raziel-kun. Now that you've seen this, I can't let you leave alive."_

_He had turned, staring straight into the face of his mentor, eyes wide with shock, looking into unseeing eyes. No! Zaphikel-sama wasn't going to— Raziel found himself pushed backwards until his back hit the wall, sending a jolt of realization through his body. He looked up at the blind angel advancing on him._

"_Raziel-kun," the syllables fell from the man's lips and one hand came to hold the boy in place by his shoulder. "I didn't want to do such a thing... truly..."_

_Then it happened in slow motion. As fear gripped Raziel's heart, he watched the angel's hand descend, straight and poised, ready to drive it through his chest. It came closer and the boy's chest tightened. He was truly going to kill him? After all he had been through... Hadn't he said before? He wanted to live. And Zaphikel-sama... he was... he had..._

_And Raziel slapped the hand away._

Raziel's arms tightened around his leg and he shut his eyes tightly, refusing to let the stinging that had recently surface make its way past his eyelids. He refused to cry. He was still alive, wasn't he? But after he had slapped that hand away and demanded an answer, Zaphikel-sama had laughed at him. Laughed. At him. And then he told him to forget that day. But he just couldn't. He couldn't...

"I can't believe I just realized," the teenager murmured to himself. "He would've actually..." No, he couldn't cry. Not over something like this. He should've known it would happen one day. He had to become stronger and of more use. But this one fact... it pushed at his heart and he just wondered if the lord angel felt anything for him, as an apprentice or even just a being... or was he just a hindrance, a nuisance that the man had put up with for the past several years after saving him from the Lab? No, he wasn't like that! But the feeling in the teenager's chest wouldn't go away. Why wouldn't it go away?!

The candidate didn't hear the door open and the footsteps of the intruder as he entered the room, shutting the door behind him.

Zaphikel had just escaped another meeting, which he told himself wasn't all that important, due to it just being "the usual". Though he was blind, he was well coordinated and walked away from the library portion of the room towards the desk, but stopped halfway. There was a soft sound. The lord angel concentrated on the noise and he heard it a little more clearly.

Crying. And there was only one person he knew would even think to be in his study with or without his permission. The slight movements of the body where the salty tears were coming from sounded all too familiar. "Raziel-kun? What are you doing in here?"

At the sound of the lord's voice, Raziel snapped his head up, his face stained by rivers of salt, and he stared straight at his mentor, who stood not five feet from him. Raziel didn't notice the tears on his cheeks, not did he realize that he had left the window open and the cold breeze was wafting in, caressing his wings. When had he unfurled his wings...?

"Z-Zaphikel-sama?" The boy's voice was a little hoarse, done in so by his silent tears. "I was just... I..." Abruptly horrified at the sudden wetness he felt on his cheeks, he tried to brush the tears off his face, but a hand stopped him. Raziel glanced up.

Zaphikel held the hand and through the touch, tried to read the boy without seeing. The air was cold, but not from the open window. It was cold that was laced with sadness and filled with guilt. The aura around his student was diluted, containing a deep sorrow that only he himself could without truly "seeing". The lord's other hand came up and touched the boy's cheek, feeling the remains of the tear trails. "What has you so upset, Raziel-kun?"

Raziel couldn't bring himself to answer right away. The voice that asked him now, gentle as a dove but strong and firm, was so different from the voice from the hidden room, when it had been deadly and fierce, creating the fear that had nearly engulfed Raziel. The boy wrenched his hand free, his wings spreading out, almost as if he were trying to defend himself from a danger that didn't exist.

"I-it's nothing, Zaphikel-sama... I just..."

He had to answer. Despite those eyes being blind as they were, unable to see him and the shock on his face, he still felt as if they were looking at him... or rather, through him. "I just realized... I mean..."

No, the tears were coming back. No, no, no! He couldn't! Shut up, shut up! Don't say! It's not important! It would just hinder him—!

"The realization finally hit me," the teenager looked away as he choked out his words. "You were going to kill me... _You_... who had saved me from so many dangers before, the Lab, the Council... were going to _kill_ me." Was the room shaking? No, that was his body. Why was he shaking?

Zaphikel remembered now. That time, when the boy had stumbled into that hidden room and seen the soul of that girl he had been keeping so he could find her record. From the reaction of that time, Zaphikel had expected the boy to just keep rebounding and understand him. But this reaction now was completely different. Had he truly taken his words to heart? Yes. At the time, Zaphikel had meant them. But there was one difference. Had it not been Raziel, the intruder would be dead. He couldn't bring himself to kill the youth. And now, of all times, he was this shaken up over it? And yet at the time, he had been so calm after it—after facing a sure death. "Raziel-kun..."

Raziel shook his head and tried to stand up even as his mentor tried to speak. "No, you... you had every right to kill me... I should've—I should've let you! I was only afraid of death because it was _you_!"

No, not the tears again. Why did they come back? Wasn't he stronger than this? He wasn't this child he displayed himself as! He was a cadet-in-training to serve Zaphikel-sama with obedience and without screw-ups! So why couldn't he keep his feelings under control and shut up already?!

"It was because it was _you_ who took me from the Lab, taking me in and teaching me to control this power even I don't understand!"

Why couldn't he shut up?

"It was _you_ who saved me from all the Council members at the risk that you could've been injured or even killed for my sake!"

Why... why wouldn't he stop?

"I could've forced you to throw all of that away!"

Stop... just stop it... stop already... s-stop...

"Raziel-kun."

Had he... stopped? Hands were on his face, bringing him back to the floor of reality, back into the study. Where had he gone? The hands on his face were slowly caressing it, fingers wiping away at the tear trails. Raziel opened his gleaming eyes. When had he closed them? He found himself locked in place as soon as he glanced up to meet Zaphikel's blind eyes. The hands on his cheeks went down to his neck, almost experimentally. Before he realized it, Raziel found himself being pulled into an embrace, the hands that had been caressing his face now barely touching his wings, which he felt disappearing back into his body now that the burden of his words had lifted from his chest. Was he speaking now? No, his voice was lost. The one who was speaking was—

"I could never kill you," the words were whispered into his ear, almost soothingly, as if reassuring him completely that there were no lies.

Were there ever any lies?

_No. _

"It was on instinct, that if someone should wander in that room, they would not leave with their life. You're different, Raziel-kun. I could never in my heart find the will to kill you."

Raziel's eyes widened. "Z-Zaphikel-sama?"

"Raziel-kun, forgive me for frightening you to this level," Zaphikel continued, tightening his grip on the teenager, bringing him closer in the embrace. "That was never my intention... because I knew the moment I took you from the Lab that you were unique, never meant to die by my hand, the same hand that took you away from that place."

Raziel wasn't sure whether the warmth he felt right then came from the embrace or the words he heard spoken into his ears. They were comforting; each and every one of them he took into his mind, cherishing their existence just as Zaphikel treasured his life more than enough to save him when he couldn't save himself.

"Do you remember my dream, dear Raziel-kun?" the lord asked as he loosened the embrace, holding Raziel by the shoulder only a foot or two in front of him. The sightless eyes were staring blindly at the boy's face. Raziel barely nodded. Zaphikel felt the movement and almost smiled. "It is to see your face with my own two eyes."

"But you said that you were—"

"Dear Raziel-kun, I meant those words."

Raziel flushed, unsure of what to say. Zaphikel just smiled. "If I had killed you, that dream would be lost to me forever. I would never be able to see your face, see the color of your eyes or hair. I'd never see the innocence in your eyes that I know you display every day in this very room. I'd never see the wind catch your hair and lift it into a dance."

Raziel found his face hot with embarrassment, humiliation, realization, and... something else. Zaphikel's smile fell somewhat. "I would never kill you, my dear, sweet Raziel."

And the falling rain outside stopped.

_(Author's question: There have been some rumors going around that these two are_ _related because Raziel looks like Anael. That true?)_


End file.
